With the onset of such games as, most notably, Modern Warfare 2 and M.A.G. and, to a lesser extent, Neo Steam, with it’s Realm vs. Realm play, or regarding ones that have been around a while (Halo 3) it moved me to think of my place in gaming. Specifically, multiplayer/online gaming and how I relate to it.
I’m no stranger to online gaming. I played Final Fantasy XI and loved it, even if it was rather broken by the end of my tenure (from my point of view) and will play Final Fantasy XIV. I have to admit, however, that I am a junkie for the Final Fantasy series (it’s the one I consider myself to have officially cut my teeth on but, that is a story for another time) so it was easy to get involved.
Above: that which brings the fear.
What Final Fantasy didn’t bring to the table and does not have in common with the aforementioned games, however, was player competition. I don’t know how to interact with the expectation that I fight against other players for success.
If I jump back to when I began gaming, I was a solitary kid. Video games were what I did to get away from the world. Games were, to me, what books are to others, a means of escape. I received the pleasure of connecting with the characters, the story and the gameplay even though, looking back on some of those stories, it’s no wonder why they appealed to my younger self.
Some of my childhood wasn’t fun and the cause was often the result of human interaction. What happens to you when you are young does shape who you are. Also, I wasn’t the type who did sports, despite being somewhat athletic. Games filled a need.
Is a well crafted narrative disappearing? No, I would say that it isn’t. Games still require an engaging story to succeed, players need something to relate to. All aspects that are taken into account when handing over your hard earned money are important. Though, while those components haven’t become smaller, multiplayer gaming has become much more prevalent. It is an aspect to the culture that, for me, I didn’t notice until it was here to stay.
So, long story short, why am I afraid? As a disclaimer, not all of these are rational but, this has almost reached a level of phobia for me. That said, let’s break it down.
My Personality:
Being a child with friends but who enjoyed his solitary moments (I knew of no other way to say this without it sounding like Johnny’s “special time” my apologies for the images it may have inadvertently conjured!) gaming was easy to pick up. I knew exactly where I left off when last played and I was accountable only to myself for my mistakes. I guess I’m completely old school in that sense and change doesn’t come easy.
How I Will be Received:
Nobody wants to be “that guy.” The one who everyone forms a negative opinion of, warranted or not. I have to work twice as hard as the next person to overcome this dreaded idea that somehow, I will be rejected despite my desire to play and have fun (can’t one have the best of both worlds?)
The “Online” Factor:
This has likely been mentioned one thousand times before. We often don’t react to one another over a game or the internet the same way we may in real life. I’m sure many factors contribute.. anonymity, the lack of any real retribution, etc. All of this gets built up in my mind as some twisted, cyberspace version of The Lord of the Flies, despite my will.
The Learning Curve:
Let’s face it. I’m not a 14 year old with all the time in the world to play games. I’m an adult and I have other demands on my time. This makes my learning curve much higher even though with how much I game I should be considered an average player. It’s not humiliating to lose to someone better than you, unless you want it to be. But when something that is supposed to be enjoyable loses it’s funsheen (it’ll be in the dictionary soon, I promise) it takes that much more effort to enjoy it.
No Matter Who Plays, Somebody Loses:
I left this one for last, considering it to be the least personally important. In an Arena such as M.A.G. someone is going to walk away on the losing side. Some may think “I don’t care if it’s me, there’s always next time.” However, not everyone is going to have the same reaction. Some will take it much too seriously (rage quits, anyone?) Sometimes other factors may come into play if they are unhappy with what they perceive as the why or the how of their losing.
Having said all that…. part 2, here we come!