The holiday gift guide to the best gaming gear

It’s Thanksgiving in America, and that means consumers (occasionally also known as “people”) have stuffed themselves with shopping fuel in the form potatoes and gravy in preparation of holiest and darkest day of the year: Black Friday.

But you will not survive this depraved celebration of capitalism without a little help, and I’m here to offer it to you. We all must play our parts in the black ritual, and this is mine. So join me as I help you fill that hole inside you with material possessions.