Editor's note: As a fellow Geek, Lance's article really spoke to me. It's full of all sorts of interesting facts about our impressive lineage. Who knew that the Egyptians enjoyed portable games? -Brett
These days, Geek is chic. Geeks sit atop multibillion dollar technology companies and hobnob among the highest ranks of celebrity. Video game revenues represent the largest slice of the entertainment pie chart. Manga threatens to drown out the fiction section at chain bookstores across the country. These developments have allowed Geeks to display their Geekiness for all to see without fear of reprisal.
It hasn't always been like this. Geeks come from a noble lineage that has endured innumerable tribulations over the years. I fear that many Geeks have forgotten this, so wrapped up are they in organizing their fan-subbed anime collection according to the length of the spiky hair of each video's main character.
Before we lose sight of our proud history in the glare of popularity, let us examine some of the ways our lives compare to the ancient Geeks. Let us understand what it means to bear the name "Geek."
Collecting:
The Modern Geek likes to collect figurines and models of characters from games, films, and cartoons. He rarely plays with these collectibles, instead displaying on shelves or walls as trophies of his Geekiness.
The Ancient Geek took this practice a step further. Romans would make models of their ancestors and place them in a part of their home called the lararium. These models would be worshiped and prayed to.
I have never seen someone pray to a Star Wars figure. Would that be the ultimate act of Geekiness or just plain crazy?
Message Boards:
The Modern Geek loves to post his feelings on Internet message boards. Even the most shy and antisocial Geek enjoys expressing his opinions on the latest episode of Lost or why Activision is an evil poopy head.
The Ancient Geek did not have the Internet. Instead, he carved graffiti on the walls of buildings or the surfaces of statues. Geeks of all stripes used graffiti to denounce politicians, promote businesses, or tell everyone who they thought was the best gladiator ever.
I have spent a lot of time on message boards, and I see no real difference between the comments found there and those found on ancient Roman buildings. Little known fact: In ancient Rome, moderators banned trolls lurking in the Forum by whacking them with a literal ban hammer.
Portable Gaming:
The Modern Geek carries a video game system with him everywhere. Chances are, if you pick up a Modern Geek, turn him upside down and shake him, an iPhone, a PSP, or a DS — or all three — will fall on the floor.
The Ancient Geek did not have the gift of electronic entertainment, but this did not stop him from carrying around portable games, even after death. The young pharaoh Tutankhamun was even buried with his favorite game, Senat.
I once heard someone say that the first walled cities appeared so people could drink alcohol without fear of enemies trying to kill them. I would have to disagree. I think that the first walled cities appeared so Geeks could be Geeks without fear of some bully trying to beat them up.
