I know that something's stirred up the Bitmob community because this week's Reviews Spotlight is filled to the brim with spiteful reviews and annoyed writers. My advice: Slow your roll. Chillax. Stop drinking all that Hateraid. I mean, come on, was Metroid: Other M really that bad? Well…probably.
Either way, do your best to soothe the ruffled feathers of these reviewers by leaving happy, non-critical comments!
Sonic 4: The Bad Kind of Déjà Vu
By Chase Koeneke
Reviving old franchises is never a simple endeavor. Like with Tron fans and the forthcoming Tron movie, Sonic 4 lovers weren't sure whether to feel excitement or anxiety at the announcement of the blue hedgehog's imminent return. I mean, how could Sega possibly recreate the amusement and curiosity I felt as a five year old playing Sonic CD? The short answer: They couldn't.
Despite giving away the review's ending in his title, Chase patiently explains where and why Sonic 4 falls short. If you don't want your childhood memories of Tails and Knuckles tarnished, avoid this review. But if you're prepared to imbibe the sour truth Chase offers, well then go right ahead and read.
Review — Metroid: Other M
By Adam Dorsey
In keeping with Chase's writing style, Adam gets right to the point of his review: Other M isn't a particularly great game. Excuse the uncreative pun, but it seems as though Nintendo dropped the morph ball on this one.
In Adam's own words, Metroid: Other M is "just boring." The new health system is stale, the combat is uninspired, and the dialogue begs to be rewritten by someone with a more competent grasp on the English language. If you're curious just how far you should stay from Other M, take a look at Adam's review.
FIFA 11 – Don't Expect a Revolution
By Sandy Morley
Is it just me or have all of this week's reviews clowned on the mediocrity of big budget games? First Sonic and Samus received beatings, and now it's FIFA's turn. But wait! This year's iteration featured Brazil's infamous Kaká on the cover — how could it fail?
According to Sandy, even the chiseled, impressive features of Ricardo "Kaká" Leite couldn't redeem the offensively bad interface, sluggish animation, and unenthusiastic commentators.
If it's not a revolution we're expecting from FIFA 11, then what should fans anticipate? Believe it or not, Sandy found some value in the game.
Halo: Reach Campaign Review
By Thilina Bandara
Halo: Reach is a big, big game. From , it's made apparent that Bungie shoved in as much content as their time and budget allowed. So in the spirit of appreciation, Thilina has opted to review Halo: Reach's campaign exclusively.
Has Bungie created the ultimate science-fiction mythos, or has Halo: Reach tarnished the series' once-exemplary reputation?
The Reviewer and the Kiwi?
By Tim Latshaw
My parents love to dole out homilies and proverbs — it's simply in their nature. My father's favorite saying, however, was simple: Be creative. While I may have never listened, it's clear Tim Latshaw did.
Ivy the Kiwi? is a whimsical, little DS game that revolves around the quest of Kiwi, a lost bird trying to find her way home. Since direct control of Kiwi isn't given, the player has to "guide" her away from obstacles and toward power-ups.
In the spirit of the game's fairy tale aesthetic, Tim decided to review Ivy the Kiwi? in the fashion of a short story. To find out what happens to Ivy and the "modestly" handsome game journalist, check out his review above!
iPhone Review: Game Dev Story
By Ross Adams
In a twisted take on introspection, developer Shaved Zebra came up with the concept for Game Dev Story, an iPhone game that simulates the development cycle of a studio. Well, that concept's become reality, and Ross is ready to review the finished product.
Do game developers live intriguing, dramatic lives, or are they as boring as any of us?