Nintendo 3DS Boasts Features We Don't Need and Can't Use

It’s easy to see why most of us fell in love with the 3DS. Nintendo revealed its upcoming handheld alongside news of Donkey Kong Country Returns, Kirby’s Epic Yarn, GoldenEye, and more at this year’s E3. Meanwhile, Sony and Microsoft focused heavily on Move and Kinect, devices that aren’t exactly meant for gamers like you and me. To seal the deal, Nintendo announced old classics like Ocarina of Time and Starfox 64 as well as modern hits like Metal Gear Solid 3 and Super Street Fighter 4 would find a home on the 3DS.

Nintendo 3DS

Several months have passed since then, and there are still a few more to go until we can get our hands on the 3DS, but all this waiting made me realize something. While I was originally excited for the next Nintendo handheld, it wasn't because of much-touted innovations like 3D and CrossPass. In fact, my interest has waned as I’m pretty sure I won’t be getting much use out of the 3DS’ signature features at all.

To be fair, Nintendo is at least approaching 3D from a unique perspective. Rather than utilizing the visuals to temporarily amuse players with cheap gimmicks, Shigeru Miyamoto claims the company intends to use the technology to provide players with greater depth perception in 3D worlds. That’s an admirable goal, but I’m just not sure it’s something we need — or even want.

A quick glance at the current list of planned 3DS titles reveals several ports of older games, including a number of Nintendo 64 titles. These are games we’ve played and loved for years in their original forms. How necessary is 3D really when we’ve already proven we can enjoy and complete games without it?

The developers of some of these ports didn't get Miyamoto's memo and have resorted to exploiting the most superficial forms of 3D. These aren’t the typical shovelware games you’d expect such gimmicks from, though. Capcom created a need for depth perception in its port of Super Street Fighter 4 by including an over-the-shoulder view. The trailer for Metal Gear Solid 3’s port includes a greatest hits of standard 3D gimmicks, including snakes, bees, and arrows suddenly flying at your face. Even without the cheap scares, Snake Eater’s appearance on the 3DS should raise concerns, as hour-long cutscenes and handhelds don’t mix well to begin with.

[embed:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=msLJPYC2jUY ]

And though 3D is part of its namesake, an in-your-face interface isn’t the only new feature the 3DS is boasting. Nintendo has greatly expanded the Tag Mode found in certain DS games into CrossPass mode. 3DS owners will be able to wirelessly and automatically share game data with one another just by walking past other users.

However, Nintendo clearly designed CrossPass for its Japanese consumers, the majority of which live in highly populated areas. In America, however, players won't find much use outside of GameStop events and video-game conventions like PAX, where a large number of gamers are bound to be in close proximity with one another. The United States is far too large for CrossPass to be used on a regular basis.

The one exciting new prospect the 3DS has left going for it is the one thing fans have been asking for since Nintendo launched DSiWare: Virtual Console. The 3DS Virtual Console will have a wealth of Game Boy classics to draw from, and if it ever expands to include Game Boy Advance titles, the 3DS could potentially boast one of the greatest libraries of games to ever grace a single device. That would be reason enough to own a 3DS, but if I had a choice between 3D ports of N64 games and my DSi with a Virtual Console, I’d go with the latter.

Super Street Fighter 4

That says it all to me right there: The DS still has plenty of life left in it. But even if we needed an upgrade to more powerful hardware, why are we getting superfluous (and expensive) 3D and features that could be easily implemented with existing handhelds?

Hopefully we'll get an answer in the coming months. Until then, I'll be content playing my boring old DSi.