Although there is no hurry, I quickly run up a slope and bolt into an elevator that will return me to the surface. To my horror, I notice a shattered stairway to my left just before I enter the elevator. I could only imagine what amazing treasure lay at the top of those stairs.
Singularity isn’t exactly a game about collecting, nor is it friendly to collectors. Despite this, it has plenty of hidden goodies ready to reward players willing to rub their face against any and every texture the game has to offer. Even though I usually found nothing, I still repeated this endeavor in order to get that extra blueprint or dose of E99 scattered about the shiny set pieces.
James DeRosa told me to play it, and he was quick to add that it was better than Bioshock 2 — not that I feel Bioshock 2 set a high bar of any sort. I asked him if it had anything for me to collect, but he said he didn't notice anything on his play through. I wasn't very excited, but I picked it up anyway. Luckily for me, James just never paid any attention to the collectibles as he was too busy playing the game. I quickly found what I wanted and began collecting to my hearts content. Although Singularity doesn't handle collecting with the same grace as a Bioshock, it does scratch that itch to a degree.
"Dude! I have to go back! Why won't these cursed doors open?"
"Just forget about it. You don't have to collect everything."
"It could have been a blue print, or even a big stash of E99! I'm reloading my file."
"I can't believe this is actually happening."
Should I go left or right? This question haunted me for the entirety of my experience. If left is the correct way to go in order to progress the story, then all of the goodies must be to the right! I sure hope I'm not the only one that's had this revelation of gaming literacy. If you're a collector, then you should know by now that everything you want is down the dead end.
In the last quarter of the game, I went to equip my map, or restore my grenade meter, or some shenanigans of that category — I don't actually remember. As is common with inexperienced PC gamers, I often hit a key I don't mean to hit. My feeble attempts to throw grenades in tight situations usually lead to me dropping my equipped weapon or bringing up my map — usually whichever is more inconvenient at the time. Out of these countless and frustrating incidents, I suppose that it was fate for a positive accident to occur. I accidentally activated the idiot button, and it welcomed a wonderful idea into my head.
I don't remember which game started it — probably Fable or Dead Space — but the idiot button is popping up more and more in my favorite games. The shining light of the idiot button guides me to my next objective in order to progress the story, and it was created to help the more casual player figure out how to travel down a hallway properly. It seems dumb, but you'd be surprised at how many of my friends forget which way they're going only to backtrack needlessly — if only first person shooters had the the invisible wall from the original Super Mario Bros. behind them.
Now the idiot button is my best friend! (Well, it's my second best friend if Brian is reading this.) One pop of the idiot button and I'll know exactly where not to go! I couldn't be happier.
I've reloaded my file and made it back to the fated elevator. I pop the idiot button; it's warm glow trails into the elevator. I look left; the broken staircase sits there beckoning me. I repair it using my super duper time thing, and then run up the stairs to a dead end. At the end lies a chest — the target of all of the hopes and dreams I've accumulated in the past fifteen minutes of backtracking. I reach down and click the open key. I accidentally open the map. A second try is more successful.
"Fiddlesticks."
"I hope this teaches you a lesson."
"It probably won't."
After opening the chest, I discover the only thing in there is a single cartridge of ammunition, and it's ammunition for a gun I'm already full on.
The road that a collector walks is not an easy one, but at least I've got an idiot button to point me in the wrong direction.
I'm a stand up comedian, writer, and electrical engineer. Follow me on Twitter @CWDavidson