In many ways, gaming defines itself as an escape into the fantastic, transforming the mundane individual into a pillar of strength and glory through the characters they play — but even in the unlimited do-anything world of video games, no one is perfect.
We've all fallen prey to the occasional bout of imbecility that exists as pitfalls to a typically normal gaming session; while these gaming blunders usually induce their fair share of groans in hindsight, we shouldn't overlook the barrels of laughs that occur as well.
I gleaned some of these examples from actual gaming experiences, so read on and see how many you've encountered in your own adventures!
Escort Missions
The smoldering remains of your bullet-riddled enemies lay at your feet, and your ammo count threatens to split your gun in half. Life doesn't get any better than this — with an inevitable victory in your grasp, the sense of euphoria is quite palpable.
And then this guy shows up.
The bane of your existence.
His anxiously rigid posture and pleading expression creeps into your mind like a slow acting poison. This can only mean one thing: You're stuck on an escort mission.
Simple enough, right? Of course, the ghastly mixture of shoddy A.I. programming and the lack of any brain cells demands constant supervision, especially when you accidentally lead your charges into a raging inferno. Note to self: Fire does not equal a hostage rescue zone.
Dialogue Options
Contemporary games strive to underscore the concept of choice, and nowhere is that more prevalent than in the various dialogue options available during conversations. Whether you're bartering for a rare item at a vendor or simply trying to rack up a few extra relationship points, selecting the right thing to say at the right time can spell out dividends — and conversely, seal your untimely fate.
After choosing this response, I endured evisceration
from strands of my own Conan O'Brien haircut.
I've lost count on how many times I've chosen an innocent-looking dialogue response, only to encounter shock and outrage; in an extreme case, my character was instantly killed, and I had to start over. That's the last time I ever utter the words "We have a deal" in a game again.
Approaching Landing Zone — or Not
Large-scale multiplayer shooters such as Bad Company 2 pride themselves in pitting hordes of players against each other in gigantic battlefields; given the size of these warzones, multiple modes of transportation are necessary for a swift victory — including the mighty parachute.
Unfortunately, these games are exceedingly harsh when it comes to aerial insertions; while the adrenaline rush of bringing death from above is awesome, overshooting your landing zone and landing in the middle of an enemy death trap isn't awesome. The punchline? You just aced the offline parachuting tutorial not moments before.
Also going down in flames: your self-esteem.
Quest Completed, Now Die
Wading through reams of text in order to grab a quest is a tedious task, but you kind find moments of excitement if you look hard enough…such as offing the quest giver after you complete the task.
"I swear, officer, the chickens have an agenda!"
Make sure to exercise a heightened level of caution when furiously scrolling past the dialogue of a mortal nonplayer character; accepting a quest to slay monsters, only to actually slay the poor slob who gave you the job with a fireball, does not sit well with the local authorities.
I think I'm going to re-bind my "attack" key to something out of the way.
Do you have any gaming bloopers or faux pas to share? Stick 'em in the comments!