I am a proud member of Club Nintendo. When I get a new Nintendo product, I sit down and enter in all those stupid codes into the company website, so I can get some awesome Zelda and Mario posters. Once I filled up my walls with appropriate nods to my nerd sensibilities, I was extremely happy. (I've even got a Trogdor poster and a pirate flag for good measure.)
I was pretty pleased once the posters were up, but my inner peace didn't last long. It took one off-hand musing from a hot girl to shatter my fragile satisfaction: "You know, Chris? You should really get some new posters." Apparently, It probably won't be the last time I'll hear this.
She told me that my posters are likely to scare other chicks away, and that I should take them down. I would like to think that if I brought a girl back to my room, the nerd posters wouldn't be the deal breaker. I have plenty of other actual deal breakers, like the creepy minivan I drive. If a girl gets into that, I'm pretty sure it means that the posters aren't going to be a big deal. It also means that they probably haven't seen Silence of the Lambs.
Unfortunately, this all raises a big question for me: Am I actually ashamed of my nerd credentials? I have a massive bookcase of games that immediately grabs the attention of anyone entering the room, and my gaming posters fill out the rest of my room's landscape. At first, I was proud of being a nerd and was glad to show all this stuff off. But now, I'm not so sure. I've been told that I need to find a girl who likes me for who I am — gamer or not — but that's starting to look like an awfully lonely road.
I am in the process of moving to New York City, and I have to decide what I'm taking with me. When I look to my Mario poster for advice, Mario's enthusiastic fist pump is as clear an answer as any. But when I look at my The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks poster, I kind of just wish it was a Wind Waker poster — no help there.
In the end, I don't think I'm going to put all these awesome posters back on my wall once I get to the city. I wish this little story would end with me saying "Fuck it! I'm putting up my damn nerd posters even if they do scare all the chicks I like away!" but it doesn't. Instead, it ends with me looking for a Jack Daniel's poster on Amazon and praying that whatever girls I get back back to my apartment don't figure out I'm a gamer right away.
Being open about my gaming habits was fun while it lasted, but I'm returning to the closet for a while. Will it change things? I doubt it. Maybe one day gamers will be looked upon as the cool kids, and I'll have my posters ready to go up on the wall when that day comes. Until then, only the Internet will know the truth! So please don't tell anyone guys. Seriously.
Chris Davidson is a stand up comedian, writer, podcaster, engineer, and self-deprecating nerd. You can follow him on Twitter @CWDavidson and watch his latest stand up video on his YouTube channel.