Does anyone actually have a girlfriend who would let them decorate the living room with this stuff?
I think I’ve finally gotten over shelling out ridiculous amounts of money just to feel like I’m special. It wasn’t easy; at the impressionable, faux-rebellious age of 16 I owned four copies of Chuck Palahniuk’s first novel Fight Club and two different editions of Reservoir Dogs. I was a sucker for "unique" packaging — I’d gladly shell out an extra 10 bucks if I thought it would make my shelf display look hipper. In hindsight, the amount of money I could have saved myself is disgusting.
Epic Games recently announced the contents of the "Limited" and "Epic" editions of the highly anticipated Gears of War 3. The Limited edition, priced at a reasonable $80, comes in special packaging and includes a medal engraved with a multiplayer character code, some unique weapon skins, documents and mementos, and a C.O.G. flag. Not bad for an extra $20, right? Well, they’re willing to make you another deal. For a mere $150, you can net yourself a statuette and (sigh) art book. Interested? No?
We fanboys are suckers. A close friend of mine paid $150 for the Epic edition of Gears 3 months before he even had an inkling of what it would contain, bless his soul. I’m certainly not immune. I’ve already pre-ordered my limited edition of Skyrim, the contents of which are still a mystery. Video game merchants sure make it tough to say no: I’ve seen plenty of clueless parents suckered into buying collector’s editions for fear of accidentally purchasing the wrong version of the game for their child. Hell, I almost plunked down $80 for the Fallout: New Vegas collector’s edition, which includes poker chips and decks of cards. I never play poker. Ever.
The Halo series is particularly infamous for putting out some absurd special editions. Halo 3’s premium version was notorious for a poorly designed disc holder that led to faulty, unplayable games. The Legendary edition came with a replica Master Chief helmet, ridiculed for being a "cat helmet." The Legendary edition of Halo: Reach, priced at $150, came with a diorama of action figures featuring Noble Squad, some flaming multiplayer armor, and a bunch of in-universe artifacts revealing information easily found on Halopedia for free.
I hope you weren't thinking of playing with those. They don't detatch.
I’m not saying that statuettes, poker chips, war journals, concept art (sigh), and flaming armor aren’t cool things to have, but I am saying that they’re definitely not worth paying over twice the price of an already expensive product. (Although I will admit I really could use Modern Warfare 2’s night vision goggles to make evening bathroom trips more of an adventure.) Presumably we purchase these editions not because game sites posts un-boxing videos, but because we want to prove that we’re the ultimate fans of our favorite franchises. The truth is, though, that my favorite memories of Fallout 3 aren’t my Vault-Tec lunch box and Vault Boy bobble head — rather, those memories are from actual time I spent playing the game.
A jack-in-the-box? Is it the 19th century? I'd rather have Ezio's hidden blade….
My suggestion: Instead of spending enough money to buy a game twice, downgrade and buy another game to make memories with! I promise that you won’t lose sleep because you didn’t get that Big Daddy figurine or the Assassin’s Creed: Brotherhood jack-in-the-box. Maybe even use that extra theoretical cash to buy a strategy guide (but please, not the ridiculous hardcover editions). Or, yet another suggestion: You could, you know…pay bills. I think that’s what I’ll do.