The Truth is Out: Mario’s a Murderer

We used to think Mario was a lovable guy. Not that we’d want him to pop our personal bubble or anything, but if he offered up a hug, sure, we’d probably accept. Though, anything longer than a half a second would be incredibly awkward — we don’t know where those hands have been.

Or should we say feet. Y’see, we discovered a news clipping this morning that shows a side of Mario Nintendo doesn’t want you to see. And we’re not talking about his bum (thankfully he wears overalls!). But what you’re about to witness is equally as disturbing — this isn’t “E” for everyone, folks. This content is maliciously mature. So, please — read with caution [via College Humor]:

Continue after the break to read the full story. If you can stomach it (we’re not responsible for damaged keyboards/monitors due to horrified projectile vomit).