Okay, picture this. What would happen if you combined Hulk Hogan and Duke Nukem? Well some dumb ass from Mattel, which is a toy company I might add, made a game with that idea in mind.
Yeah, it’s as bad as it looks. On an interesting note, this game is designed to work with the infamous Nintendo peripheral, the "Power Glove." Of course, that’s another story for another day. If you want an idea on how the Power Glove works, just blindfold yourself and have someone kick you repeatedly in the groin when you try to play the game. In other words, you’re better off with the controller.
Anyway, from what I’ve been able to gather, you play as this guy named Duke Davis who goes around beating up disgruntled circus midgets. Sadly, that was not sarcasm.
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You get attacked by dogs and circus midgets. Could it seriously get any worse?
Why’d I have to open my big mouth? That picture alone tells you how horrifying this game is. What the hell is he doing to that circus midget?
As I was saying earlier, you go around fighting midgets and dogs. Your moves are all stupid looking too. Like the one pictured above.
Enemies drop items during the levels and after you get to the end of the stage, Duke Davis starts throwing whatever junk he manages to collect into a dumpster. I guess this is his way of cleaning up the streets. It might be his home. To be honest, I really don’t want to know.
Whenever you start a stage, you’re given a chance to practice your moves you get for that specific level. Also they include these really stupid quotes. I want to play a game, not get bitch slapped by a Chinese Fortune Cookie. Also, the quote says "Never Trouble Trouble Till Trouble Troubles You." Well, I think punching midgets is troubling trouble.
Anyway, here’s the review for this game piece of crap.
Graphics: 5/10
The color of the guy you play as is what hurts the graphic score the most. It’s hard to play the game with the blindingly yellow color attacking your eyes. Also, a lot of the animations are very choppy looking. Other than that, the backgrounds and some of the enemy designs are okay. If vomit in a blender looks appealing to you.
Story: 10/10
I don’t care what anyone else thinks. Beating up circus midgets is awesome.
Story: 1/10
From what I see, the circus has come to town. Duke Davis, a freak in yellow leotard, has decided to lay the smack down on them all. Isn’t this worth a Oscar nomination for best story ever or what?
Gameplay 3/10
Fair enough, the controls are responsive. Problem is, everything else is messed up. If you try punching an enemy, when you’re directly on them, you’ll miss. You got to be a slight distance away before you attack. Also, if you and an enemy attack at the same time, the enemy will hit you anyway and your attack won’t do anything.
Music: 1/10
When your soundtrack is on par with the Jonas Brothers, you’ve screwed up somewhere. This game, from what I’ve played, has only one song and it never stops.
Conclusion: 2/10