We always thought Dungeons & Dragons was missing something. Sure, it has the dungeons. And yeah, there’s the dragons. But, uh, where’s the soda?
Seriously — where is it? How the hell do you expect us to explore dungeons and potentially fight dangerous dragons without equipping a delicious beverage filled with pure cane sugar and copious amounts of caffeine? Hell, if frickin’ Final Fantasy can get an elixir, it’s only fair that D&D get a soda, right?
Right! That’s why Jones Soda is making a bunch of D&D-themed sodas for you to guzzle down while you ponder dice rolls and/or feel remorseful for killing innocent dragons [via Wired]:
Mmmm! Can’t wait to taste these fabulous flavors: Dwarven Draught, Eldritch Blast, Bigby’s Crushing Thirst Destroyer, Sneak Attack, Potion of Healing, and the truly delectable-sounding Illithid Brain Juice. Maybe a sip of that will make us sound smarter.
Let’s try! 2+2 = leaping lizards. What the shit? False advertising!