I’ll freely admit I’ve never visited New York City (being a student doesn’t afford you such luxuries), but I have traveled before. A few years ago, I boarded a plane to Melbourne in what was a fleeting weekend trip. Wandering around that city — one bigger than I had ever found myself in before — offered an immense sense of discovery alongside an unease brought on by being out of my comfort zone; this was a place everyone but me called home.
So even though I’ve never been to New York, as I awoke in Roman’s apartment, rubbed my eyes, and stepped outside, I wouldn’t have known any better. Buildings and skyscrapers alike towered around me, and taxis sped past while pedestrians continued to complain and bicker.
Though Rockstar’s architects knew I had never visited the city, they used this to their advantage. The differences between Liberty City and the real thing were unknown to me. What I did know, though, was that feeling I had while wandering the streets of Melbourne had been captured perfectly — I held a sense of discovery amongst a quiet unease; I was in a city where everyone but me felt at home.
Compared to others, this act of Inception was one of the most difficult to pull off: to create a world I could lose myself in and where the lines between reality and this dream world would fade. I was Niko Bellic, and I could lose myself to limbo and never know any better.
My mobile rang and Roman’s voice blasted through the speaker: “Hey Niko, come on down to the shop; I’ll show you around.”
I obliged – getting my bearings straight before setting off down the side-walk. I took each step slowly, absorbing the sites as long as I could, like the most foreign of tourists.
The traffic was heavy in these early hours, as horns honked and disgruntled commuters screamed out their car windows at the next car in line doing the same to the next, and so the pattern continued.
I could tell that by the state of the buildings around me and the disheveled look of the people who resided there that this part of town wasn't a nice one, but it intrigued me nonetheless. Hot dog stands littered the streets, and the smell was strong enough to overwhelm the cloud of car exhaust which hung low and made every breath a little bit more difficult.
Passing under a large, rusted train line which towered above me and snaked its way through buildings with near impossible bends, I rounded the corner a few blocks down from where I’d begun and stepped in to Roman’s garage.
He introduced me to his friends at the shop, gave me a glimpse at the work that he does (which appeared far less glamorous than he had made it out to be), and we both high-tailed it out of there as Roman’s boss blew a gasket. Seizing this opportunity, we climbed into a car, I took the steering wheel, and Roman began to point out the places we passed by. While he took me on what he deemed the “grand tour," traffic was still just as heavy. The day had begun in earnest, and the smog had lifted enough to make things a little more comfortable.
Our day ended with helping out a few of Roman’s girl friends, who seemed welcoming enough, and on the ride to their apartment, one egged on the other to ask me out for the night. I’d been here the best part of a day, and if I was going to learn to live here, I’d need more than Roman to keep me company.
Later that night, Michelle and I made our way to the local bowling alley, which wasn’t as sleazy or dirty as I thought it would have been. I’ve never been any good at bowling, but that didn’t really matter. I was beginning to acclimate; I was feeling comfortable; I was making friends that would one day make this foreign city feel like home. Michelle and I talked a lot over those hours, even during our drive back to her apartment.
“I really enjoyed myself tonight, Niko,” she said as we turned the last corner before her apartment. She continued, “I don’t normally go bow…"
Thud.
The car jolted violently as Michelle and I were thrown about. I panicked, and my heart began to race as I looked in the rear view mirror. An old woman lay on the road, still and lifeless. I hadn’t seen her; I’d been driving slow, but for some reason she’d jumped out in front of the car.
I turned to Michelle to see if she was ok. She just continued talking.
“Be careful Niko! Now, where was I? Oh yes, I don’t normally go bowling, but that was a lot of fun, maybe we should go again tomorrow night?”
I sat in amazement. She continued to discuss how amazing the night had been, how she wanted to go out again some other time, and that she enjoyed the rap music currently blasting over the radio. During all of this, blood still dripped from the hood of the car.
And that’s when I realized. I glanced out the windows and watched the commuters around me. Cars kept driving past, pedestrians walked on by, and even a police officer continued on his route without even a glance. Some people even stepped over her body.
I exited the car, and at that moment, it began: The world around me began to crumble, the buildings began to collapse, and water flooded the roads. An unreal feeling grabbed hold of me, and everything went dark.
When I awoke, I was sitting in my computer chair and staring blankly at my monitor as citizens continued to go about their business. Niko stood just outside his car door while Michelle continued to blather on about music and other nonsense. The woman I had hit — that Niko had hit — still lay lifeless in the road. Rockstar’s attempt at Inception had almost worked; their city was wide, vast, and it used every trick in the book to fool me into believing in its version of reality.
It captured my big-city feelings and recreated them perfectly. I felt like living in the city was something I could do forever; it had almost grabbed hold of me. But, in the end, they’d missed a fine detail, and that’s what broke it for me. I had finally found my own totem, and it didn't stop spinning: The people just kept on walking.
When they finally care to stop, I’ll believe it’s real.