Editor’s Note: I tried my best to get through The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess, but I couldn’t. I stopped halfway through. I’m tired of the same Zelda formula, and so is Kris — and he’s got some ways to make it better. -Jason
Recently, Shigeru Miyamoto said that he does not think that the upcoming Zelda game for the Wii will be “that radically different.” I hope that changes by the time Nintendo releases the game.
This may sound blasphemous, but as a man who has loved this series from the very first game on the NES, I feel that it must be said: The Legend of Zelda franchise needs a massive overhaul. I enjoyed Twilight Princess well enough, but by the end of the game, it started feeling like a chore — another dungeon here, another series of increasingly convoluted puzzles there, yet one more annoying method of making magical music, and more banal dialogue to slowly trudge through. The series has, as movie critic Roger Ebert has grown fond of saying recently, become much of a muchness.
But I still love Zelda. In fact, I’ve been revisiting a number of the older games, including A Link to the Past, Ocarina of Time, and Wind Waker. And if you would forgive the presumption, I’ve identified six ways to make Zelda feel fresh again. Miyamoto, you better be reading this right now. (And if you are, feel free to join everyone else who will no doubt comment below just to tell me what a gigantic idiot and ass I am.)
Step One: Go Back to the ‘Toon Look
Yeah, I said it. And I mean it, too. Have you played Wind Waker recently? When I did, I was shocked at how beautiful it still looks. I fear that when an unreasonable backlash to that game erupted in 2003, it may have permanently scared Nintendo away from a visual style that still has so much potential (the couple of DS titles still bearing the look don’t count). I don’t even understand why people hated it so much. Was it because it robbed Zelda of its “mature” and “realistic” look? Maybe I missed something, but has Zelda ever about realism? What gave people that impression, the elves? No doubt it was the Great Fairies.
I think an aspect of Wind Waker’s look that gets glossed over is that it was a return to the series’ roots, not a departure. The game had so many small but delightful references to A Link to the Past: the dark dungeon rooms that needed to be illuminated by lighting torches; the mysterious pots that warped you to different locations in a dungeon; the slightly remixed music in some areas; hell, even something as small as the design of Link’s first shield felt like a deliberate throwback (look at this, and then this). I submit that in the final analysis, Nintendo had exactly the right idea for the visual style of this series. They just needed to make a few small adjustments.
Step Two: Make It Less Looney Tunes and More Princess Mononoke
I concede that while I love the idea of a cartoon-style Zelda, I’m not entirely happy with the slapstick comedy the game frequently crams down our throats. And let us agree on this much: Link should not look like Chop Chop Master Onion from PaRappa The Rappa.
But imagine a brand- new cartoon-style Zelda where Link looks not like a bug-eyed munchkin but something more along the lines of this:
Look at that picture and then imagine it fluidly animated in 3D. And then find the daring (the daring!) to tell me that animation style wouldn’t kick ass.
Step Three: Make It an Open-World Game
This might be my most controversial recommendation, but stick with me. Think back to what made the original NES Zelda and A Link to the Past so awesome at the time. Remember how thrilling the sense of exploration was; you never knew what you were going to see in that next screen over. They were worlds that flowed from one area to the next, as if it all really was an interconnected kingdom and not a series of disjointed levels. In essence, they were the original open-world games (and let’s not forget Grand Theft Auto — before it went 3D — was a sprawling top-down 2D action game…much like The Legend of Zelda).
Ocarina of Time got a lot of things right when it transitioned Zelda to 3D, but one of the more regrettable aspects of the game that’s remained part of the series — for no good reason — was its level design: a lot of large, separate spaces connected by tubes. Ocarina’s world was constructed that way because of the limited power of the Nintendo 64, but that’s not an issue anymore (and while Wind Waker came close to recapturing that original sense of discovery with its aquatic overworld, the fact that most of it was water diminished the thrill). But imagine something closer to the seamlessly constructed setting of Shadow of the Colossus, and replace that game’s deliberate minimalism with Zelda’s classic secrets scattered all over the land. That sounds a lot more exciting than large bowls connected by tubes to me.
Step Four: Add Experience Levels
This may be another controversial recommendation, but hey, let’s not forget this was something introduced by Zelda II: The Adventures of Link, only to be removed from the series ever since. In revisiting these older Zelda games recently, I was struck again and again by how often the combat felt completely pointless. I’d charge into a fight with sword and shield at hand, clobber a couple of enemies, suddenly remember that “Oh yeah, there’s no reason to bother with this,” and then avoid the battles and move on.
It doesn’t necessarily take a traditional system of experience points and levels to add urgency to the combat (I don’t want level grinding in Zelda), but the series should have some way to improve Link’s strength and abilities based on the number of enemies that he defeats.
Step Five: Write a Compelling Story
Storytelling has never been Zelda’s defining quality, but that doesn’t mean it can’t be. And if it means that it’s finally time to give Link a voice in a Zelda game in order to have a narrative that we actually give a damn about, then so be it. Going from one set piece to another where a character dully dictates to Link what he has to do next, finishes by asking “Do you understand what I’ve just told you?” and then sends him on his way…well, the whole process has grown beyond stale.
You want “maturity” in a Zelda game? Then let’s see it where it matters — in a story that actually has themes to think about, with characters that have motivations beyond saving a princess. I’ve saved enough princesses. I’m not asking for War and Peace, but is it too much ask for a story that’s more than just a clothesline on which to hang eight or so dungeons?
And finally, Step Six: Leave Music the F*** Out of It
I swear to god, if I have to play/conduct/howl one more fricken note in the next Zelda game, I will lose my goddamn mind. Unless Nintendo plans to include totally rad compatibility with Guitar Hero and Rock Band controllers, or they devise an awesome way to use the Wii Remote and Nunchuck as a theremin simulator, then I do not want to play your stupid songs. Ever.